Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Day 20- snuggle

 

Day 6- in the air

So..... I thought this would be easier doing 2 picture a day. But then realized it's not just pictures you take right now, it's through the year. Uggggg but I'm getting there. 

December is just a mess for me right now.

But I looked up today while walking to Starbucks to get coffee. I love black birds. Love crows and ravens. They sing to my heart. They were talking so much I looked up. The trees were bare and I could see them just sitting there. Made me smile. 

 

Monday, December 5, 2016

Day three December reflections

Favorite photo- 

Now there are so many I have that are my favorite. But today. This is the one. 

I love this cat- Mox.... he has stolen my heart. 
His personality is just the best. Unique. You always have that 1 animal that can never ever be replaced. This is my 2nd born.... 

 

Friday, December 2, 2016

Those tasty things you get to eat

So, this past weekend, we did a few things.....only a few. LOL YEAH RIGHT!

So we started off, but going to crossfit, a bonding experience where I get really mad that I have to work out, but then I feel great again afterwards......don't ask, it is what it is. 

Then we headed off to pay off treats you all get to eat. Now that Anetra is half Italian and half Portuguese, she wanted the dessert done by a place called di Tazza. Anetra said that her desserts and treats remind her of her grandmother on the Italian side....like just like them. So since I know I have Italian in my heritage somewhere....oh who cars if anyone is. LOL the treats will not let you down. Actually I will try and hoard them all and not let any of you eat any of them. 

It always feels great when you are saving for two years for your wedding to pay SOMETHING OFF. They wanted to do half down, I said um....can we just pay it off. Honestly I didn't want to have to do it later on, to many things I don't want to worry about at all. :) 

Then to continue out day, we went to look at rings for Anetra. And well I've never done the whole ring thing. It actually gives me anxiety. I love the sparkles but don't make me pick one out because even if I do want that really expensive one, I wont let you buy it at all and I wont tell you which one I like. Because honestly I feel a little guilty about wanting it, when really that money could go towards a trip and not something to sit on my finger. I have the perfect ring and I didn't have to pick it out. Goodness, I'm sweating right now just thinking about that day. 

Anyways, Anetra found the ring she wanted, honestly I'm glad I didn't get the one I was going to get her because it was NOTHING LIKE THE ONE SHE WANTED. LOL 

I swear I do know her, I swear.  So that place was SOOOOOOOO Busy. They said a tone of people were planning on getting engaged at Christmas.  How fun..... 

Well the rest of the day was filled with running around doing errands getting things ready for our trip to see Anetra's family for Thanksgiving. 

Until the next step......Have a great day!

Day 1 of December Reflections

Today is what's on the table..... no before you judge me about seeing what's on my NEW dining room table. 

Take a walk in my shoes for a moment. I work two jobs.... I run a office by day and dance teacher by night. So when I get home it's late and I DUMP everything my and on the table that's right by the kitchen. The kitchen is where we spend most of our time. So...... really that's where I have chosen to just dump everything. You know from xmas presents there is a cat bed... I didn't do that.... lots of sweaters because who only has 1 comfy sweater. To who knows what else is on there. 

I do clean it off once a week and we have t actually ever ate diner on that table yet. So..... it's ok. I love the way it looks clean and feels great. And believe I have tried to dump my stuff someplace else but I just use the same bag the next day... ok bags! Lol 

I empt all my dirty dance close and Day close and by container that I had food in or my drink containers. If I went to a room and had to take everything out my arms would be overflowing. So..... this is why this happens. Now all the sweater I just can't wear the same one everyday so it ends up collecting a few hairs from our 4 fuzzy kids. 


 

Saturday, November 26, 2016

December Reflections

Looking back on this past year, even though I do have one more month, and this month is a crazy month for me since my dance company will be performing Jan 15th. Oh boy and there is so much to do still. 

Anyways - There is so much that has happened and haven't happened that makes me questions my moves and where I want to be next year. I still feel as if I'm still stuck in the same position yet, I now know it's karma. 

Staying where I am, and expecting the same results is insane of me. But I feel like I have put so much of myself into where I am, why would I leave. But really its abusive is so many ways. 

So - so many things to think about this, and so many things I want to change. My One Little Word is CHANGE this year. And I have changed a lot in what I am doing and recognizing what I still need to do. I feel like Time is not on my side this year. 

Anyways. 

I am doing December daily this year and thought this would be a great prompt this year. 



http://www.susannahconway.com/classes/ 

Susannah Conway - I love her words, her energy even though I don't know her at all. But I fill out her workbook reflecting over my past year and picking out things for the following year. It's part of my process for ending and starting a new year. Reflecting on the new and old. I honestly need a year off. Yes I said it a whole year to get my thoughts and everything I'm so behind on. There are so many projects and things I need to work on with my body that there is honestly no time. I mean there is. But really I would be filling up every second with things, and my soul and my body doesn't work that way. I need time to just sit and what people call spacing out. but really I'm taking in my surrounding, listening to the birds, watching and being in life and loving it. I love life. I love watching the ocean and just being there taking in the massive energy and major power of it all. 

I will blog maybe once a week next year. I would love that. Just have to start a new habit. What day and why that day. 

Ok so - this post has so many things I have touched on, but really it was about December daily and adding this. see pic above. 


Sunday, September 18, 2016

Art journaling

I finally had time and focus to art journalthis weekend. I kept coming back to it all day long. Taking breaks here and there. It felt so great to actually complete a few pages. 

Did I get anything done I was suppose to get done. No not at all. But this felt great!!!! 
  

Here I used what I learned in Finns class. Remembering that it takes time. 

 
I love Halloween. It always inspires me to create more. I need to embrace that more. Makes me feel great and that I can actually do and create. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Sadness

I can't help but feel a deep sadness for what is going on in our country.

I don't understand why we don't have stricter guns laws. I know everyone has the right to bare arms, I'm ok with that. But what I'm not ok with is the fact how easy it is to get a gun, and how everyone is using them for anything.

Just yesterday on my street, a guy had a ton of gun, held his wife and daughter hostage because HIS FRIEND WOULDN'T TEXT HIM BACK!!!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!

What is going on?

Mental health is a big issue, bulling in school. How we treat people. The entitlement of what we with is owed to us.

Believe I get mad when I see people breaking the law and get rewarded for it. I follow the law, and when I break it I get caught. It's my karma, I've come to terms with it. Do not use me as the get away car if you are robbing a bank, I will get pulled over for something.

So...I think a lot and most people are like me, and see others get away with so much, that they are fed up and say fuck it. IF that person can do this...then I can. And now we have a ton of angry people in the world. I'm tired too. I have two jobs. I'm tired every day, I'm battling a concussion still. I'm trying to make time to do things for myself. But honestly that only happens maybe once a week. I have three fur babies. My partner and I are thinking about having a kid. Why would I want to bring a kid into this world that is so corrupt? I know be the change. Raise the kid as apart of the change.

But right now I see nothing but bad things and its getting worse. I actually feel scared.

I'm sad. I'm so sad and I don't ever remember being this sad before. I hurt for so many people. and I'm angry at our government. I'm angry at people poisoning others for money and greed.

What happened to wanting to be happy? I want to be happy but I don't want to kill my self to be happy. And I feel like that.

I went to college, I have a degree, I am a hard worker, and I work my ass off. I'm tired. So why is it, I can't make enough money to survive or go on vacations.

I go pay check to pay check. and I get home at 10 pm every night. I wouldn't be able to have a child. My schedule and jobs wouldn't really allow it.

I just don't understand. I know there is NEED FOR CHANGE. but how do you implement that without causing more chaos. And really, there isn't. you ask for change and people will rebel, but then they will see.... oh this is better and safer.


Saturday, June 11, 2016

Head

Lets talk about how it's going to be two years since the accident July 11th and I'm still getting headaches. 

This process has been then worst thing- or not the worst- but it's been mind altering. I have changed as a person, it had changed my creativity. It has changed the fact that I can't dance anymore and my dreams are slowing slipping away from me. 

Now my mom would totally change that part about me, but I've had a headache now for a week straight and I'm literally ready to jump off a cliff. I can't take the pain anymore. What more am I supposed to do? I sleep as much as I can. I have two jobs! When I get home I can't even watch tv or listen to music because my brain has had enough. 

AND..... Lights in a dark room triggers the headaches. I'm a god damn performer for peaks sake! How am I supposed to be in a theatre during tech or even watching shows when it triggers migraines. To the point I don't understand what I'm seeing. I'm at a point where I'm ready to quit dance. I'm serious, how can I get better and perform when I can't get the headache to go away. I don't want to give up. But I can't take extra classes for me when I work two jobs, and have the headache. What am I supposed to do? 

So that is an update. I feel like I'm going backwards. I did great for 3 months. Then during comp in Seattle, I almost threw up from the lights flashing. I knew I was done, but still needed to be there for my students. And honestly I'm so done with this injury I just want to push through it. But how can I? 

So again that's where I am. Trying to get better for me, and trying to heal. Because who can take off two years off to heal as an adult? No body can.... Unless you are the 1 % or married to someone who makes millions. It sucks. But I'm trying my best everyday! 

Thursday, March 24, 2016

New Iphone 6s

well....I would take a pic of this beautiful machine and then write on blogger through the blogger app. But apple decided to take away blogger from the app store since it's a google product! seriously are we that petty now that you wont let someone use a different companies product because you want me to use you'rs now. 

What is going on. I get it, I know it's all about the product and about money and domination, but come one. Let me choose to use what I like. 

So, to get this wonderful picture of my phone. I had to take it with another phone, and then email it to myself, then download it to this computer, and then I could drag it to blogger. Now when I could have to just taken the picture and then selected it from my phone and then continued to write this dumb blog. 





Now, normally I wouldn't have chosen such a bright color for my case I always go with black because it never gets dirty. But this time, I just thought who cares. I want to have a bright blue case. I loved the color. Who cares if it gets dirty right away, its a case, its going to get dirty and if I don't like it I will buy a different one. But for $40.00 I will not buy another one. LOL I will have this one for a good 4 years. I have had a new phone every 4 years. I think that's pretty good. It is acting up the phone that is, so it was time for a new one. 

New plan- Iphone forever. So I pay $26 more to LEASE my phone, which is fine but I don't know it feels weird knowing that I actually don't own my phone. So how it works is, you pay the $26 extra every month to lease this phone for 12 months, and then you can get the newest phone. so you have the phone for a year. then what do they do with the old phone? or you can keep making payments until you own the phone which would take me almost two years to pay for it. 

So its a good deal anyways, but my contacts and having to transfer everything over to a new phone is a bitch. seriously have to rewrite all new contacts. OH guess what!!!!  I'm just going to text all the contacts information!!!! Hell's YEAH!

It's from Iphone to iphone and I'll just click create new! YES OH YES! ok going to go do that for a while. 

I knew there was an easier way, I just needed to get creative with it! LOL



Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Humanity

Yesterday a poor soul decided to jump from the I-5 Bridge into the lake. 

Now - my first thought was to chant nam myo ho renge kyo. Yes I am a Buddhist. Obviously this person, thought there was no other way then to take him own life. 

And now I just researched it, he was planning and threatening to Jump but never did. The point here is that he stopped traffic, that is TERRIBLE to begin with. He stopped traffic in both directions for almost 4 hours on a Tuesday night. where it takes me an hour to get home anyways. 

the sad part is, someone I know posted about this on facebook, saying how lucky she was to get over the bridge and then they stopped traffic right behind her and then she said "go suck it I-5 jumper". 

this made me so sad. 1 - you don't know what was actually going on, 2 - this person was on the verge of taking their life

3- Where did humanity and kindness go in this country?

Believe me. I dont have it easy. I work two jobs to barly make it. But I do have a supporting family. I bought a house, I have a car, we have running water and water to drink. Mind you a britta to filter the water through. Three awesome animals. We can eat what we want and work out and buy things when we need it. 

But I'm tired. I'm tired of working all day long getting home at 10pm having to go to bed and then get up again. I don't get to do what I want with my free time because honestly I don't have free time anymore. There is no suck thing as free time with me. Hence why I choose not to have friends because I don't honestly have 30 mins to my self, and when I do I'm sitting on the couch resting my brain and or doing house work or running errands. 

So to hear this, yes If I was stuck in that traffic especially on a Tuesday. Tuesdays are days I don't teach dance and I get to go home early. I would have been pissed, but finding out what happened, I would have changed the way I reacted. I feel sorry for that poor person who needs help or a friend. 

It's just sad to read things like that on the internet. To read other posts, "just let him jump there are boats that can get him". 

It breaks my heart. caring for others doesn't come about anymore.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Dear Sales Rep

Dear Sales rep who has a problem with the way I RUN MY OFFICE,

Every office is ran differently. J  I have trained many OP’s with my systems. Every sales rep thanks me for the systems that are put in place and then they tweak it so it works for their office. I always train every OP with that state of mind.   Systems makes the office run smoothly, and it holds accountability for every person in the office. By having systems, this corrects communication errors.

Here in this office, we use sticky notes because the Sales Reps want to. J  This is what we decided on an office TOGETHER, not because I want or chose to.   I also follow up with an email when tasks are done. This again was decided by the office together as a team so we are all on the same page and everyone knows what got done and what still needs to get done. Here we don’t have any communication issues, and if we do have them, we get together as an office and work together as a team to fix and find a solution that works with everyone.

I’m always chosen to train OP’s because our office is ran so well. All the sales reps here in my office trust me in doing my job, and they know I will get it done no matter what.  We all want the same thing in office, To do well and to sell more.  I am a part of that team.

Just so you know, here in the office everything that is suggested doesn’t always work. We give it a trail period of a few months, and then get back together and tweak the system so it works for OUR office. I get calls from OP’s from all over the US to ask how I do things. I always say this is what we do here and it might not work for your office but you can try.  I always follow up to see what worked for them and if they have any suggestions so I can take those suggestions back to everyone here in the office to make our office a positive awesome working environment.  

I hope you have a wonderful selling day.




Monday, March 21, 2016

First 5 k - Vancouver Couv

So.....First let me just tell you. I hate running. With a passion, HATE IT! But Anetra wanted to do this, and I thought hey ok lets try this. 

So, well I ran...ok jogged the first half mile. then walked. Now let me tell you, for the first two miles, I thought to myself. 

Why the hell do people pay money to run! I mean come on!!!! I mean, I was speed walking and busting my butt, and people were walking faster than me! like passing me like I was just strolling along in high heels. 

So....my legs hurt, its raining, and I'm alone walking with my thoughts. just realizing, how alone I really am. 

I don't like running, so i don't have people walking with me. There are all these people who are in two's and fours and groups doing this together. Anetra took off running because she is runner. So I walked. I couldn't run, I'm not a runner. I do know I will not do that again. I am glad I did it once!
3 miles is alot to do. I mean we did 18 miles in one day at Disneyland. But COME ON it was DISNEYLAND! The happiest place on earth. This was terrible. 

I do have to say, when I saw the mile marker 2, I was so excited to know I only had 1 more mile. I then pushed myself more. But not that much more, I was already pushing as hard as I could. 

I was happy Anetra came back for me to help me finish. I was proud of myself, but man that was hard!





Sunday, March 13, 2016

Wedding

So - It's been awhile since I even concentrated on our wedding.

Turns out my cousin is going to be getting Married 1 month to the day after I do.

Well I don't know how that will fly with 1 - my job, since we are planning to take our honey moon right after the wedding, and  2 - Family!!!! I guess we will all make it work. But I just had a feeling that was going to happen.

Turns out my uncle is going to ask my cousin, his nephew to change their wedding date.

Honestly its not like they knew our date. My moms did and my family did but we haen't told everyone yet, we are still trying to figure out where it's going to be so we can send out save the dates.

Which I need to find. That is on the list. WE did sit down and figured out our color scheme and found the invitations we want, but I'm going to make them, and a item to go on our wedding tables.

Now to only find a place we can get married.

I mean we are going back and forth on inviting everyone we want too, or just very close family, and then everyone else to the reception. Wedding are so expensive and I don't understand why when you say you are going to have a wedding everyone jacks up the prices. I mean come on, $2000 to rent out the place that I have to decorate and basically set up and break down myself.

Man even wedding planners are expensive! There are even wedding planners that do just the day of the wedding so you don't have to worry about anything at all, or from the very start. But really who has $30,000 lying around.

WE are working with almost $10,000 budget but guess what, we are also going to use that money for our honeymoon! Now we are saving $6000 on our own in two years, and my mom is going to give us $3000. I wanted to do it all on our own, but we wouldn't get married for another 4 years.

So, ok. But I know we can do this, its the venue and the food that is going to cost the most. I just don't understand why it has to be so much, and so many different options. Sometimes there are two many options which makes you have to do a TON of research, and honestly who has time for that. You think I do, well I don't- well I do if I didn't get any sleep at all, but lately ever since the car accident, I have to get at least 8-10 hours of sleep and I'm still sick.

Anyways - finding and agreeing on a color scheme and invitations is a huge step. We even put in our first order for our wedding!!!! I'm so excited.

Like in love! lol.

so- for now, we are looking for a place to have our party. When I find it, I will tell you all about it. Believe me we have been contacting a ton of places for amounts. we haven't toured anyplace, I'm just not in love with anyplace. And we haven't agreed on what it will look like, so that is probably why we haven't found the place yet.

OH and we decided on our wedding party. :)

YEAH!!!!!

Thursday, March 3, 2016

It never ends

There is a reason why my blog is called it never ends because it really doesn't. 

For instance.... My splash gaurd needed to be replaced, well it ripped off completely while I was driving home last night. So I made an appointment time for this morning at 7:40. Well I revived a phone call yesterday at 4pm while I was teach my dance classes. It was the dealership, they were supposed to call and give me a qoute so I didn't call them back because I work from 4-9 non stop on Wednesdays. I don't get a break. 

So I listen to the message and it says they are co fused as to what part I needed for my car. And because my car is so old the person who I talked to before didn't understand what part I really needed. It's 10pm. So I know the place opens at 7am, so I call. They give me the run around and say they will call me back after so and so checks in guests. 

An hour later.... No call. I call them. Repeate my self asking if I should bring my car in or not... Finally she says we will have to reschedule. I asked if I could drive my car and she said she didn't know and would have someone call be back!!!!!  Um I've been waiting for someone to call me back... Of course I don't say this, but I'm thinking it. So I get a ride to the train, and head to work.

10am rolls around and I call back. And the lady tells me again I have to wait. And I said no, do you have the part or not? Because I will go someplace else. I need to have my car. This has been rediculess. If you don't have the part that's ok, I will have someone else get it and go someplace else. She says Pablo will call me back in 5 mins. I was short and upset. Pablo calls in20 seconds says we won't have the part for 3 days! OMG!  Seriously. So I say ok. 

He calls back in 10... Sorry I do have the part you can bring your car down anytime. 

Here.... I say I'm sorry I have two jobs and won't get home until about 11pm can I drop my car off tonight or tomorrow morning? Well he says that's fine. 

Mind you I might have jury duty tomorrow, don't know yet because the number is t working. So no car, have compitition/ convention this weekend and I had to do everyone else's job today at work. The only normal thing about today was teaching dance. Thank goodness for dance and thank goodness for my fiancĂ© who will be picking me up tonight or it would have taken me about 1.5 hours on the train, transferring twice. Mind you this is not the MTA where you can get from point A to point B in 10 mins, this is Portlans Oregon transit. Slow and no express train. Ugg! 

Do I get ice cream now? 

Oh and I have put about $5000 into my car in the last year. It's time for a new one, but I cant afford, a new one. My dream car is. VW GTI. (Sigh) 2015 min you. Why get a beater car when I have a beater car! I want a new one. But it's just not possible yet. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

OLW

So, I choose blogging as my one thing to do everyday for the month of feb.... And I always look forward to it, but when it comes time to actually blog.

Why? What? Well I know what. But why am I wanting to do it? To create my story I can go and look back on? An online journal? That really at any point the Internet could actually crash and all this information would be lost.  Think about it, no really think about it. Would you remember everything you wrote down if it was wiped away? Your online scrapbook? I love holding things, holding memories. And reliving them. And really it boggles all down to time. 

there are things I don't want to write for all to see.... But writing it down on paper and sending it into the Universe.....isn't it the same? It's real if someone reads it or not. But yet, jobs look at social media now. To see if you slander or if you are someone they would like to hire. 

I don't understand and crazy to think about. 

When really I don't have time to think about, well I do, but then I won't have time to sleep. 

Here we go, time again. For example. Tuesday's I get to work at one job, I got off early to go and work out ran errors then helped make diner and cleaned up by that time it was 7:30 pm. I was sooooo tired. Everything I had planned to do and wanted to do, went out the window. I feel asleep on the couch. I was so tired I had no motivation to do what I actually really wanted to do. Like December daily, or One little word, or my scrapbook or play with my cats and dog, or just paint. Listen to music, figure out my computer program. I mean I have so many things I want to do. TONS!!!! 

Time... 

I need like two years off, 1 year to rest and the other to get everything done. I get it, by the time you get older your so tired because you've had to work your ass off just to have a few nice things. 

1- job in my field would be nice...dance 

That's the other challenge. 

Off to my 2nd job of 5 hours of teaching 

Friday, February 12, 2016

disORDER Performance

Well... its that time. 

We leave at 8 am tomorrow morning heading to Grants Pass Or, to be a guest performers for All That Jazz Spring concert! 

I have trained at all that jazz for many years, and was finally on Company my junior year of High School. 

It's so awesome to be back to show support for a studio that I called Home. 

now lets talk about this trip. 

1 - my car is going to be full of teenagers
2- Anetra's car is going to be full of teenagers
3 - they are going to be crazy!
4 - we are ALL sleeping at my parents house! 
5 - see above!!!!


I'll let you know this trip will turn out. 

I'm very excited and very nervous all at the same time!


Wednesday, February 10, 2016

December Daily

I'm still working on my December Daily. 

It's been rough just saying. 

But I did buy a new canon printer, don't know why I ever changed from canon in the first place. It is my favorite. 

I guess I think, why not try new things, but when really with a brand, if you like it, stay with it.  

Digital design is not something I have time for. I hate that Adobe is so much money a month, and I try to use gimp, but it wont actually work on my computer for some reason. 

So publisher, yeah I love it, but really do I even use it correctly probably not. Measuring things out is just not something I love to do.  I love looking at other people's projects and thinking wow that looks great. And then I try it, and think, wow that took forever to get 1 page done. holy shit!

But - Anyways, I'm pushing through it. got a few pages done. I just don't know if I like the whole project life way. I like limits, but then again I don't. And I don't like putting pictures in my personal art journal, because that is something I don't always like to share with everyone, but I love the simple side of December daily in the page protectors. 

Maybe its because I've lost my creative side. I just need to sit and play with my crafts. 

time is an issue with me. Working two jobs, and not getting home until 10 - 10:30 pm three days a week. is not fun. On my other two days, I don't get home until about 6 because of traffic, and then its time to relax. I honestly don't and can't do anything else. I'm just physically and mentally done. 

I know this is not normal, I have had this schedule my whole life, but now, I'm done with working so much. and its tiring. I need like a whole year off, to catch up on my life. lol and really would I just do nothing with my year off, oh hell no, I would probably do everything and anything and then complain about how I CHOSE to live that year. lol

So I will take pics of everything and show you eventually, but for now. Know its coming. lol




Monday, February 8, 2016

Wedding

Yes - I am engaged. :) 

I finally met my kosen rufu partner!!!! It honestly feels like we have been together forever, AND there is constant communication, no doubt and no worry of trusting at all. 

We Just fit. She is my match. It's awesome!!!!

ok to the wedding. 

Now you know the movies. Yes if you have been married and had a wedding where you are trying to plan, then you know what I'm talking about. 

My thought process...as anything would go, cool. we are getting married, let's invite just family and a few friends - Holy shit just family is almost 75 people! ok ok. that's doable right?  

So I down load a seris of questions you go through before you actually start the wedding process. 

Budget. Figuring out your budget, well....um...Yeah....so we are paying for our own wedding, and my mother is putting in some money...so we figured we would save the same amount we were paying for our bed a month. ok, 2 years later we will have what we figured is our budget, and we are including our honeymoon in that budget. 

So - I start doing some research on venues, and honestly have no clue what i'm doing, and no i'm not going to hire a wedding planner, I've looked into that too. These people make a killing! 

so turns out to just rent a place with no decorations for 75 people plus feed them is about $4,000.00!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 

our $9,000.00 budget, for EVERYTHING including a honeymoon, just made me sad. But that's because i see the traditional wedding that everyone has to has, or are SUPPOSED to have. 

I have to keep reminding myself, we are not a normal couple, we don't do things traditional, we have traditions, and will always have them, but we are not that couple that have the same engagement photos, or story or wedding. 

so figuring this out, makes me feel so much better. AND, we talked about everything and really the honey moon is more important to us, so we actually budgeted that first and what we have left over is what we have for the wedding. 

Of course the dress I want is $2000, and I don't have that in my budget, but everything happens for a reason, must rentals are for 5 hours, paying $2000 for a dress I get to wear for only 5 hours is ridicules, but I so want this dress. lol its not going to happen, but I can dream right. 

Wedding Wire has been really helpful. and Pinterest

So ideas and printing off colors and just ideas. The whole process actually stresses me out. It's to much for me, and I can't deal. So literally I'm doing one thing a month. Good thing our wedding is in two years!


Feb One Little Word

So.... We are supposed to pick something we could do everyday for a whole month. 

First thing I thought that I could do easily.... Is take a picture everyday. Sure I can snap something everyday. 

But what I really want to do is blog. 

Things to think about : 

Time- do I really have the time to blog, I mean besides just posting a few words. I mean it's not like I don't have anything to blog about because I actually do.  1 the wedding. 2- dance- 3- one little word . Oh and so many others. 

I wanted to document so much about my life but.... Really, for what? 

Domestic violence. That is a reason why I have changed in over sharing.  I am determined to get that part of me back. I used to not be afraid to just share anything. But....  I'll tell you more about that another day. So for now I want to blog once a day and so I'm going to try it. 

On another note, I can't believe it's February.