Moxen Harber

We recently got a Bengal, this will be my 2nd I've had. I love him. 

One- never had a boy cat. The rumors are true. They are more loving then females. I had no clue. Bengals are more wild, so they normally don't like to cuddle don't want to be pet at all. But my little Mox, loves to cuddle at 6 am everyday, he loves to come over and nap on you. He love his big brother Kai, and wants to cuddle him too. I love him. 

2-there really isn't a two. I just never though I would own a boy cat. But again he is so sweet and so mouthy like me. Hee hee 

Last night we had a vet apt, we think he has a UTI, so got antibiotics. And was told we have to man Handel him a bit. He doesn't like to be held down. Of course not... So we did this this morning and oh boy. He made noises I have t heard from him. Giving him Meds is not fun at all. 

Last night was his fist time at pet smart. He loved seeing the birdies. And he did walk for us. So cute. Glad there wasn't a ton of other animals there. 

Normal?

I love this!!!! 

Tired

Is it me or do we choose to be work alcoholics? 

I mean...... let me rephrase that. 

I love to work. I love to teach and I love my day job. I just don't like doing both 6 days a week pushing me at 65 hours a week and 1 day off.      SUNDAY. 

By the time that good ole Sunday comes, I DO NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING. I get annoyed with chores, and having to grocery shop, and clean house. But It has to get done, and my partner does it all week long. I can only really help out big time, on Sundays. When really All I want to do is sit on the couch and be lazy and relax my brain. And I do that. 

BUT

then I get upset. I have a growing list of projects that I want to get accomplished, one of them being a NYC trip Anetra and I took almost two years ago. I new years resolution last year was to start scrap booking out life and to keep up with it. Well how am I supposed to do that when I honestly don't have time to do so. I don't get to see her as much as I really want too. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. 

GOOD - because I miss her all the time and cherish the time that we actually get to spend together. plus i feel like we don't ever get sick of each other. But honestly would we get sick of each other? I don't think so at all. We are both very busy people and are constantly on the go. we like our life like that. But I need two days of a weekend not one.

BAD - because I only get to really see her when I get home at night. and that usually is a quick hi how was your day, and then I shower, try to relax my brain and then we go to bed. AND I miss out on what our fuzzy four legged kids do during the day. :( 

SO... this is going to change. It has too, I have been saying it for 5 years now and I will make it happen this year at some point. I just don't know how it will happen, and that scares me. But i have faith in my practice and I know what will be will be. 

One Little Word 2015

COURAGE. 

My word this year is courage. I am still following with Ali Edwards class. I have saved all the prompts from the pervious years and I do the ones I really like oever and over again. 

This year another student....had us all sign up with out words and address to recieve a pen pal. 

Pen pal...back before you had emails and internet, and you had so much to say in a written letter. I love getting mail. i love it so much. i have always loved this. 

Emails, and texts are so impersonible. But social media is how people respond to everhthing. For instanvce, I have one parent who likes to email me, facebook me and text me all the same question to make sure I get the message. Which I can understand. Even though something is sent via text. we get the message most of the time, and most of the time not. So you never really know if texting really works. So I applaud the effort yet then I get pissy about it. lol I can never win with my emotions sometimes. 

I can get off subject. Back to my word. COURAGE. 

My life has always been busy. ALWAYS. I've always had two jobs, I've always worked days and then danced/ taught at night. I never have time to do things I really want to do. 

Having two jobs right now, office managing and teaching at night. I really don't even have time to try and relax when I get home to fall a sleep before midnight and then up at 6:30..shhhh I get up at 7.

SO....why courage. 

fear. why not fearless...because I am fearless in so many aspects of my life. I need the courage to back up the fearless choices I make. I'm affriad to quit one of my jobs. I'm affriad to quit teaching because there isn't alot of dance opps here for people my age. I'm old for a dancer. lol. I'm affriad to quit my day job. I dont make enough money teaching, and that job doesn't have a 401 or health insurance. 

Choices I have to make. but i really need to courage to take the first step. I need that courage to make a choice and stick with it, knowing if might not be the right choice but that I actually took a first step which I'm so scared of doing so. Me and my partner, are going to buy a house in the near future. so do I keep my crazy schedule because that will mean I will have an even bigger bill and responsibility to have. 

the thing is I make the same at both jobs. so cutting one out, will cut what i make a year in HALF!!!! HALF!!!!!  so, really no more fun things. I had one job to pay the bills and the other job to play with and to really save for the future. so do I really want to cut that. NO of course I don't want too. 

but can I keep going 65 hours a week 6 days a week?  I just started scrap booking a trip from almost two years ago...I cry in my car because I can't art journal because Sundays are chore and catch up on dance stuff days or I just end up sitting on the couch knowing I dont' have to do anything at all. 

I know I have made a choice of propbably not going to teach on saturdays anymore. It's to much for me, but solos will happen even sat for the first three months of school. uggg....I sometimes ask my self why did dance choose me? 

I didn't choose it, it choose me, I can't live without it. but sometimes I just want to quit and live not so stressful and just work a regular job.  Sucks i think that way. but i'm tired. 

so....COURAGE to make a choice and to have courage to stick with it.