It's feels like a new life

Life likes to throw many different balls all at once at you expecting you to catch all of them, juggle them, and maybe even throw them back at what ever was throwing them at you in the first place.

I met someone. I met a women who I thought didn't exist. I met someone who is kind and caring and doesn't judge me for the little things that I feel like I fail at. I am messy. I spill, I run into things, I don't always put my clothes away at night. Yet she doesn't say anything about it. now I don't know if that's only because we have been together for only 6 months. but the way we fit is amazing. I still get tingles in my stomach when I look at her. I still feel like i'm the luckiest person alive to be just sitting next to her. I love looking at her, memorizing all her features, her life lines in her beautiful face. looking into her eyes, and watching her face start to smile when she notices me just staring at her. How creepy right. well no, I love looking at her, observing her. taking her into me. really learning about her.

I really never thought I would be with another person. I know we all say this, but really what I have been through. I never really thought I would be able to open myself up again. And I do find at time, I am closed, not wanted to fully expose myself, because I've always been cheated on. I've always been changed, and left heart broken.

this time, I told myself I wont change who I am and I will be able to find someone to love me for me. My loud crazy self. I love whole heartedly and do everything in my will power to give and give and give and give. that is just who I am, and how I am in a relationship. yes that can be a flaw . but a flaw people fall in love with.



6 months later- I am re reading what I wrote. and I still feel the same way about her. I still find myself staring at her, watching for a smile. I love that, the beginning of a smile.

I moved in- we live together. we play house. hee hee

we got a dog -Named Malakai Doogan- we call him Kai. He is 3/4 blind and we love him. I love him. Never thought I would really love a dog. But I do. I think of him often and just love him. He is just starting to howl. He is one year old, just like our relationship.

Today, we get a Bengal cat. I miss Reno and she will always be my first. I think of her daily actually. but we always have to move forward. If we don't move forward, we get stuck and never really keep learning and striving for better selfs.

Our kitty's name is Moxen Harbor we will call him Mox....

YES- the way I know that a name is good and will stay is practicing yelling their full name when they are in trouble. and yes I did do this many times. got laughed out, well to think of it, it is kind of funny. But - Moxen Harbor you get down off the countertops right now mister.  LOL . it just fits. It really does.

I will post pics in a few days. we get him tonight and I'm sure I wont be able to take my hands off him.

OLW- Journal page

I have been very behind. Just putting in march in my One Little Word Journal.

Below is a page I did about what I was afraid of right now, so that I could over come it. Not to fun to do this at all. I loved making this page.... It speaks for itself but the next page (which I'm not showing anyone) is what was difficult to put down In words.

It is hard admitting what your afraid of. Because then you either have to do down thing about it or ignore it.

Also, I spelled afraid wrong. I am a horrible speller. I'm not joking like so bad I sometimes think spell check is wrong lol.

It's something I have accepted about myself.

I'm just trying to catch up. More pages to come.

The Raven

I love the new show The Following, the movie The Raven.

I ask myself why haven't my eyes been open to Edgar Allan Poe?

I used to love writing poetry, I use to love reading it dissecting it.

Loved the movie the raven, if you don't know me, I love horror movies, I love blood and guts and gore. I don't know why, but even when I choreograph Its always from a dark place. It just seems to mean more and I can get more out of my students.

Anyways, I did this the other night. I love the white I love that's its simple and I want to make more like it.

My Virsion of a Throw Back thursday

Distress paint

Ok.... So.... I bought all of them at once because that's how I roll. I take chances, hearing what everyone has been saying about these paints, and then watching TIM HOLTZ do his magic, forgetting he does this for a living.
It's like going to get your hair cut, first thing I say is make sure what ever you do to me I can do tomorrow without you!! N
So it like that with these paints. I grabbed the first one and well It sucked. I was let down. Pushed them away and said that's what you get for buying ALL OF THEM before testing driving one first.
Gave myself a few days and guess what. I love to stamp with these paints. Haven't done the whole marble with different colors thing like everyone else is doing because well I don't like to copy right away. I feel then after I finish doing their idea I get stuck and think then what. So I have to take my time and try a little something here and there. I stamped in black and on the other page seedless preserves. Now I love it right now. But I still have alot of playing to do.

Vision board for OWL

Now, I was terrified to make this vision board.
I didn't know what was going to show up on my board, what if it was to dark.
I even researched different way to do this board.
Turns out, I don't know what I was scared of. It's me right now. It's really simple to make a vision board.
I do feel as though I could keep adding to it, I think I will for the rest of the year. I'm exciting to have this out and looking at it often.

March- spirit

This month- spirit- I feel as if I need to find my spirit all over again.

I have to let go of something. And it's not going to be an easy task.

Even though my task as you would say is body for feb, let me tell you I didn't lose the 20 lbs I aimed for. But I did get these weird stress blisters which I later found out that it was from sleeping with my hearing pad and it was burning me.

But I do have very sensitive skin. And I'm dealing with that.