disORDER Performance

Well... its that time. 

We leave at 8 am tomorrow morning heading to Grants Pass Or, to be a guest performers for All That Jazz Spring concert! 

I have trained at all that jazz for many years, and was finally on Company my junior year of High School. 

It's so awesome to be back to show support for a studio that I called Home. 

now lets talk about this trip. 

1 - my car is going to be full of teenagers
2- Anetra's car is going to be full of teenagers
3 - they are going to be crazy!
4 - we are ALL sleeping at my parents house! 
5 - see above!!!!


I'll let you know this trip will turn out. 

I'm very excited and very nervous all at the same time!

December Daily

I'm still working on my December Daily. 

It's been rough just saying. 

But I did buy a new canon printer, don't know why I ever changed from canon in the first place. It is my favorite. 

I guess I think, why not try new things, but when really with a brand, if you like it, stay with it.  

Digital design is not something I have time for. I hate that Adobe is so much money a month, and I try to use gimp, but it wont actually work on my computer for some reason. 

So publisher, yeah I love it, but really do I even use it correctly probably not. Measuring things out is just not something I love to do.  I love looking at other people's projects and thinking wow that looks great. And then I try it, and think, wow that took forever to get 1 page done. holy shit!

But - Anyways, I'm pushing through it. got a few pages done. I just don't know if I like the whole project life way. I like limits, but then again I don't. And I don't like putting pictures in my personal art journal, because that is something I don't always like to share with everyone, but I love the simple side of December daily in the page protectors. 

Maybe its because I've lost my creative side. I just need to sit and play with my crafts. 

time is an issue with me. Working two jobs, and not getting home until 10 - 10:30 pm three days a week. is not fun. On my other two days, I don't get home until about 6 because of traffic, and then its time to relax. I honestly don't and can't do anything else. I'm just physically and mentally done. 

I know this is not normal, I have had this schedule my whole life, but now, I'm done with working so much. and its tiring. I need like a whole year off, to catch up on my life. lol and really would I just do nothing with my year off, oh hell no, I would probably do everything and anything and then complain about how I CHOSE to live that year. lol

So I will take pics of everything and show you eventually, but for now. Know its coming. lol

Wedding

Yes - I am engaged. :) 

I finally met my kosen rufu partner!!!! It honestly feels like we have been together forever, AND there is constant communication, no doubt and no worry of trusting at all. 

We Just fit. She is my match. It's awesome!!!!

ok to the wedding. 

Now you know the movies. Yes if you have been married and had a wedding where you are trying to plan, then you know what I'm talking about. 

My thought process...as anything would go, cool. we are getting married, let's invite just family and a few friends - Holy shit just family is almost 75 people! ok ok. that's doable right?  

So I down load a seris of questions you go through before you actually start the wedding process. 

Budget. Figuring out your budget, well....um...Yeah....so we are paying for our own wedding, and my mother is putting in some money...so we figured we would save the same amount we were paying for our bed a month. ok, 2 years later we will have what we figured is our budget, and we are including our honeymoon in that budget. 

So - I start doing some research on venues, and honestly have no clue what i'm doing, and no i'm not going to hire a wedding planner, I've looked into that too. These people make a killing! 

so turns out to just rent a place with no decorations for 75 people plus feed them is about $4,000.00!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 

our $9,000.00 budget, for EVERYTHING including a honeymoon, just made me sad. But that's because i see the traditional wedding that everyone has to has, or are SUPPOSED to have. 

I have to keep reminding myself, we are not a normal couple, we don't do things traditional, we have traditions, and will always have them, but we are not that couple that have the same engagement photos, or story or wedding. 

so figuring this out, makes me feel so much better. AND, we talked about everything and really the honey moon is more important to us, so we actually budgeted that first and what we have left over is what we have for the wedding. 

Of course the dress I want is $2000, and I don't have that in my budget, but everything happens for a reason, must rentals are for 5 hours, paying $2000 for a dress I get to wear for only 5 hours is ridicules, but I so want this dress. lol its not going to happen, but I can dream right. 

Wedding Wire has been really helpful. and Pinterest. 

So ideas and printing off colors and just ideas. The whole process actually stresses me out. It's to much for me, and I can't deal. So literally I'm doing one thing a month. Good thing our wedding is in two years!

Feb One Little Word

So.... We are supposed to pick something we could do everyday for a whole month. 

First thing I thought that I could do easily.... Is take a picture everyday. Sure I can snap something everyday. 

But what I really want to do is blog. 

Things to think about : 

Time- do I really have the time to blog, I mean besides just posting a few words. I mean it's not like I don't have anything to blog about because I actually do.  1 the wedding. 2- dance- 3- one little word . Oh and so many others. 

I wanted to document so much about my life but.... Really, for what? 

Domestic violence. That is a reason why I have changed in over sharing.  I am determined to get that part of me back. I used to not be afraid to just share anything. But....  I'll tell you more about that another day. So for now I want to blog once a day and so I'm going to try it. 

On another note, I can't believe it's February.